Adrift In A Pool Of My Own Academia

But where the fuck is my paddle? O yeah. That's right. In accordance with Josh Bass impulsiveness standards I didn't bring one. I looked out across the florescent sea of classrooms and captivity and launched my crappy rowboat out into the waves. I just couldn't stay where I was, and so, as per usual, I took off without the slightest idea of where I was going. Forget the fact that my ability for cognitive thought has been severely impaired these last few weeks. And so for the last three days I've struggled to reach the water with my hands, hoping to gain some kind of control. As of right now, it's possible that I'll stay afloat, though I'm still at the mercy of a storm of my creation. I didn't even consider the far reaching consequences of casting out at the last possible minute, and now I'm coming to terms with the possibility that I could end up in an entirely new part of the world. The ridiculous irony of it all is that this New World has always been the greener grass for me, the life I wish I had the courage to lead. And so with one seemingly small decision, one blind stab at an unmarked button, I set a machine in motion that I might not be able to stop, (especially considering my technological ineptitude), and which could make that New World my only option. Another particularly amusing irony is my recent discovery that I like to be in control. So what happens right after this newfound realization? Control is wrested from my clutching fingers and I'm thrown into a bureaucratic game of chess, where I am just a pawn. The last and greatest irony of it all is that when I was in the system, I passionately longed to escape. Now this cog is dangerously close to breaking loose, and here I am scrambling to get back in. I guess it's easier to be on the outside looking in if you were the one who chose to leave. Being on the outside because I'm incapable of getting in is an entirely different feeling, one that I never considered as a possibility before. It doesn't help that less worthy sailors are enjoying a pleasant journey aboard their pleasure yachts and cruise liners. I guess I'll have to make do with my hands. But I only doggy paddle. Obey the giant.