Its On Like Donkey Kong

Ladies, Gentlemen, and Israelis,
Unlikely though it sounds, it seems that I owe a debt of graditude to an individual who has had no part in the honorable task of feeding me, nor provided me with any form of entertainment worthy of my gratitude. The individual in question is a newcomer to the timeless art of blogging, a would-be peer if you will. I will take a moment to applaud him on his clear hero-worship of me and my prose, though his attempts at emulation are much like a parapalegic attempting kama sutra- its just out of his league. Bless his little heart...
Im sure that most of you with half a brain have realized who it is im referring to. I am not ignorant of the fact that I share my readers. It doesnt bother me. In fact, I encourage it. It'll just help you all appreciate how good I am by comparison...This individual goes by the name Real Jew, which I find to be incredibly amusing and strangely familiar...talk about creativity huh....
In his blundering, childlike attempts to insult me, Real Jew merely admitted to his own glaring ineptitude and confusion and added to my own already impressive notoriety. You see, I will happily agree with nearly every statement made by this supposed Real Jew, and cheerfully stand by his description of me and my effect on the world. It gladdens me to see that someone appreciates my work enough to try and fight back. So, as they say to a player who has accidentally made a shot on the wrong side of the court, thanks Real Jew, for being the best player on my team.